By Evan Weinstein, Erika Handler, and Julianne Kallas
After a divorce, co-parenting during the summer months can be especially challenging. Kids need time to decompress too, and balancing their wants and needs with the custody and visitation rights you agreed to with your ex requires communication, planning, and flexibility. Weinstein Family Law has four tips to help you co-parent effectively to give you and your kids a great summer.
1: Ask your kids for their help with planning. Before the divorce, your summer plans may have included in-home or outside daycare, sleepaway camp, day camps, trips with you and your spouse, or time away visiting grandparents and other extended family. After the divorce, your kids may or may not want to continue these activities. This is the perfect opportunity to start something new with them and build new traditions. Ask them what they’re interested in doing and involve them in the planning. They’ll be more invested and more apt to enjoy themselves if they’ve had a say.
2. Play by the rules. If you and your ex have custody and visitation agreements and/or more informal understandings regarding your kids, play by the rules. Communicate with your ex (or their family law attorney) to discuss plans and to reach an agreement that allows the kids to enjoy their time with you without violating any agreements. For example, don’t plan a trip to Mexico with the kids if you and your ex have agreed to not take the kids out of the country.
3. Be flexible. Even the best made plans can change unexpectedly, so try to go with the flow and handle change as amicably as possible with your ex and kids. Even the youngest kids pick up on your emotions. Take the time to explain calmly that plans have changed, discuss new plans with your kids, and stick to them. This will also help you build trust with your kids.
4. Don’t try to compete with your ex. It’s not about who can spend the most money or stay in the most exotic locales, it’s about building positive relationships with your kids after your divorce. Honestly, your kids really just want to spend time with you (and your ex) whether you’re playing at a splash pad in a neighborhood park or exploring a foreign country together. Do what you can within your means and make your time meaningful with your kids.
It is possible to enjoy quality time with your kids and build lasting relationships with them over the summer, even after a divorce or separation. But like most things, it requires work and communication. The attorneys of Weinstein Family Law wish you and yours an enjoyable and relaxing summer.
